At my granddaughters 18th Birthday party last night I had the opportunity to reflect, not only on the last 18 years since she was born, but on life in general.
Her grandfather was there and we have been divorced for very many years. It is always sad when relationships end. When things end through death, widows, rightly so, get a huge amount sympathy and many prayers offered. As years pass they get used to their situation and hopefully move on with their life, remembering their loved ones in an appropriate manner. With divorcees it's different. There is blame, not prayers apportioned, scorn not sympathy and some people will inevitably pin their colours to the mast for one side or another. Divorcees, like widows, hopefully try and move on. That's where the similarity ends. For a widow, it is over. The finality that comes with death is total. For divorcees, especially those with children the agony goes on, probably for the rest of their lives. There will always be nights like last night, and there have been for me over the years. Eighteenth birthday's of the children, engagement parties and weddings. Then the round of christenings of grandchildren, and eventually the cycle starts again, eighteenth birthday parties for grandchildren and all that follows, again. The past is always there, never a real distancing from it, and all those past years, when a couple divorce, there was never the thought or acknowledgement that the other would be in your life for always because there were children involved. It is right for the offspring of that marriage that this should be the case, and should be seen to be amicable. But for the individual the past is always there, whatever your personal feeling, you have to confront it, sometimes when you don't want to. I personally think, it's a lot harder for the divorced woman that it is for the widow. At least she knows it over.
